Showcase of the week: Annie

Lucky me. I get to showcase myself :) Not all of these will be the same. I will share what you want me to share. Or you are welcome to showcase yourself too!

I feel like I have struggled with my weight since I was little. I have always had a belly and hated it. I'm 5'2 and only twice in my life feel that I have been skinny. I plan to share a secret with you later on but for now I will share my evolution to ME. Growing up our meals were centered around meat and potatoes, whole milk and a vegetable was an after thought. We had canned beans or corn almost every night. I LOVED ranch and cheese. I could go to town and absolutely would. These two are still big challenges for me. I have always over ate too. When I was in highschool and jr high I always played a sport or had P.E. After highschool I did nothing. I moved to SD at 21, my metabolism slowed, my partying grew (and so did late night food runs), I had fast food all the time and never worked out. I was tipping 150 and considered obese. I was too scared to join a gym, I wouldn't know what to do and was so out of shape I actually hated the actual act. I then moved to the bay a few years later and started working at Google. We had all the food you could eat and we did. We all put on weight. I was now making a little money and had an egg donation and made a little more money. So I booked a liposuction for my belly, arms and lower back. Oh boy was I happy that I was going to be cute again! And I was, for a minute. Because I did nothing to change my lifestyle the weight came back. And when it came back it came back weird (to me anyway). It was lumpy, uneven and my arms were the worst! She really did a bad job there and it was obvious to me that I had had surgery, this was not my body or a normal body. Finally after gaining it all back and not changing a thing I started a program at work, similar to weight watchers. Stanford was sending a doctor to our campus to take clients and help them lose weight on this new program. I met her weekly, recorded my food and did a reading assignment each week on food and my body. I started to lose a couple lbs a week. We would review my week and create a new goal for me. None of the previous weeks goals would end, I was required to only add to them. (I go easy on you ladies! haha) Then I started to see a personal trainer and go to work out classes offered at work (new goals from the program). Instead of spending the money on surgery to fix it, I went and invested in myself. I did pay for the program and the trainer but I don't think I could have changed my habits on my own, so it was so worth it. I needed a team effort in teaching me how to start a healthy life. I think it's the best investment we can make and some people never do. Those that do never regret it. I can promise you that. You only regret it if you paid for it and didn't do it.

It did sort of become an addiction. I loved the high of losing the weight but also felt that I gave up a personal life to do it because I could not go out to eat or drink because I would have to log it and I wouldn't lose weight. So once the program ended I slowly went back to my old ways. Started having fun with my friends, showing off my new body, eating and drinking a lot and gaining again. When I get down (breakups, self esteem etc) I party and eat, so I have yoyo'd for years and can look back at the time I've gained as painful times for me. I finally feel like I am sort of balanced in my life when it comes to food and activity. I made a friend in SF who loved to hike, travel and be active. We became best friends and each weekend was spent being active. We also brought wine and cheese, or went to eat and reward ourselves. This made it fun and I finally got to a point where I started to love the activity instead of doing it for results. I feel worse now when I don't. I like everything about the high's and energy I get when I'm active and eating well. I drank a couple days this weekend and really didn't enjoy the repercussions of it.  Drinking for me has to become a balance too. I can often get excited to be with friends and/or family and make it an occasion to keep getting another drink. I slowly am finding that balance. It will likely be a yoyo thing too. That's OK. I'm admitting it and working towards a good place and can be happy about that. I like making progress, I don't like the idea of cold turkey or change all at once. Its likely a set up for failure. I like to reach outside my comfort zone and take steps in the right direction. In the end, I get there and am proud of myself for it.

This last year while traveling abroad I went once again to get lipo (secret dropped. Boom!). All in the same areas on my body to fix the last one. I was busy eating and drinking around the world and not connected to a gym and not safe to do much on my own for the most part, so I gained weight (I ALWAYS do when I travel). I felt like if I was ever going to fix my 1st surgery it would be while I was gone and nobody would notice. I would have the down time and could keep it a secret. I did it all by myself in Budapest. They took lovely care of me and fixed many of the problem areas I had before that were not MY BODY. I've since gained weight back but I don't feel that I look as weird or bad. I will never do it again and wish I would have invested that money towards doing it the right way in the first place. You gain so much more by doing it for yourself then getting it fixed by a doctor. I would know, I've done them both. Money isn't something we all have but sometimes we can re-prioritize what we spend it on. I cut out a lot of spending by not going out and hiring a trainer instead. Even now I do the visalus shakes but I cut out a grocery bill or eating out (adds up quick!) for the meals I replace with my shakes. When I do it I lose weight. It's easy for the most part and I'm OK with investing in myself now. I buy something new to try each time I go to the store so I can always be learning about more foods. Making new comfort foods that I enjoy.

Thank you for reading my story. It's not over yet but I'm so much better than ever before!

Just before I left for Kenya, prob 10-15lbs heavier. I can see lumps in my arms and can see it in my face. Not close to my biggest but I can see progress. 

Also 10-15lbs heavier about a year ago. 

This last weekend. 10lbs more to go.