relationships and choices

As I'm moving along, slowly and steadily losing weight I've had to ponder some things about my relationships and choices. I'm going to start with relationships. We all have a relationship with food and a relationship with exercise. How we think of it, what we like and don't like etc. I'm 5'1 and have tipped 150 a couple times now, which is obese by the doctors standard for my height. The first time I realized I was on a path of only growing in size, I went and had lipo-suction to lose the weight. Sure, it was great in the beginning, an immediate fix, who doesn't like that?! But what it didn't fix is my relationship to food and exercise. So, of course I put the weight back on, and now it will never look the same when it comes back. It's lumpy, uneven, not very cute when I add weight to my body. When I'm thin I look fine, so when I gained it back I wanted to lose it so I could look fine again. I decided to make a healthy change and went to a nutritionist once a week for a weigh in and coaching session, I also saw a trainer twice a week who got me really strong, stronger then I care to be. I then ran a marathon. I was tired of pushing myself so hard, I dreaded working out, so I took a break. I didn't want to go back because all I knew of the gym was HARD work. So again, I put the weight back on in just 1 year. So this time I'm figuring out how to make this something I can enjoy and keep as a part of my life. I had to change my relationship with exercise so that it was something I would enjoy, and not dread. Now I go to classes I enjoy, and not the ones that kill me. I go to the treadmill and just walk or run to what I feel like that day. Some days are good and some are at least just something. I always walk away happy I've done it but I no longer dread making the time to do it. I tell myself, just go and see how you feel. If you just don't want to push it then go light and come back tomorrow. I have more energy, I'm happier and proud of myself no less then before. This may not be for everybody, some people need to always be challenged and make a goal then break it, thats what drives them. For me I just want a relationship with it so that I enjoy it, want to make time for it, and it then is a part of my life and hopefully the yoyo weight ends. And it's working, for me, it's working.

What is your relationship with food and exercise? Where do you want it to be? How can you get there? Is there something you need to do to get to the point where you want to be? What choices do you need to make? Which then leads me into the next section.... CHOICES

Everything in your life has come to you through a choice. To buy this house, to take that job, to stay in this relationship, to have a baby or to not have a baby. And there are the small choices we make daily; to add extra cheese, to buy the bad bread or put that ice-cream in your cart, to work out and what you plan to do, to be in a bad mood or to be happy. Things you think you don't have control of you absolutely do. You choose your relationship with everything in your life. If something is wrong you either choose a new way to deal with it or you choose not to and choose to keep it that way. If you choose not to you are likely going to live with negative feelings, anxiety or fear, which limit you from all you are capable of. You choose to either accept it or make a change, if you can't do either then you will not be satisfied or happy. So choose the relationship you want with your food and with your exercise. If you don't like vegetables, add small portions each meal until you like it. You train your taste buds over the years, people who eat healthy have trained their taste buds to enjoy healthy. All of that training comes from your daily choices. You aren't limited, you only limit yourself.

I have no doubt in my mind that every single person here can make it to any goal they set, what they have to do to start is realize it's their choice, you choose your outcome. What one do you want? Are you going to make the choices to get there?

It's the 1st of the month!

Here we are again, approaching another months end and a new beginning. I'm late in posting this blog this week, I have no real excuse, I actually don't know if anybody is doing them but lets all do this one!

It's the first of the month, lets all blog our struggles, our triumphs, our goals and our progress (yes, progress is weight) I'm going to do measurements again and post my weight on the side of my blog to keep me on track. Will you be doing the same?

There is just today and tomorrow left so lets make them perfect shall we? Good luck and I will hope to hear from you all soon (FRIDAY!)

challenge - I have two of them for ya!

Challenge #1: * BLOG * BLOG * BLOG * BLOG * BLOG * We want to share in your journey, a couple sentences or not blogging at all makes us miss you!! SHARE, SHARE, SHARE with us! For the few of us blogging each week we will make sure we comment to make sure you know we are here for you. :) WE MISS YOU!! Try to find a few minutes this week to update us on your lovely and blessed life, we can't wait! :)

Challenge #2: Think Positive! When ever a negative thought comes up; about you, the work you are doing or just in general, take control of your mind and turn it into something positive! Be in the present, be aware of your thoughts, take control over the mind chatter that so often limits us and what we think we can do. There is always a happy thought that can replace that stinky yucky one! This could change just about anything that happens in your life. I had a test on this one this last week. I was set up against somebody else to get this job that I REALLY wanted to transfer to. I thought I had it in the bag, I was so excited and planning out my future... but I didn't get it. It stung... but immediately I thought to myself, THINK POSITIVE! Be thankful for everything I have and don't sweat the small stuff. I grabbed my gym bag and walked on the treadmill while I watched TV and went back to work with a fresh mind. I'm working on my own mind chatter and it limiting me. I took a risk, got rejected but know I can't let that get to me. There is just something bigger and better out there!

You can do it!

Week 4 - Compliments

Welcome to the new blog page! I figured this was easier then trying to follow the challenges and my weekly blog.

As I've said before this isn't just external work, we have a lot of work to do on the inside. This week I want to work on something that every women needs to do more of. COMPLIMENT & LOVE OURSELVES! Various things have been popping up and triggering me this week and I feel this is something I need to share and challenge each of us to do.

I've started reading a book called the 4 agreements, it says that from the moment we are born and start learning we make agreements; agreements that we do this or that because we were taught that is the right thing. Or we can't do or look like that because it's not good. We form an image of perfection and agree to it. If we don't fit that image we are hard on ourselves. Nobody is meaner to you then you are. It said that we will not tolerate a relationship where the person is meaner to us then we our to ourselves, no matter what the abuse is, we are really the ones allowing it because we some how think we deserve it or aren't worthy of better. This abuse is something that can get worse and worse over time, but is something we can improve over time as well. As I have grown I have completely changed the type of people I surround myself with, and each relationship I have had has improved as I have done my internal work. I joined a womens group that met weekly about a year or so ago, each week 1 topic was always brought up; are we being nice to ourselves? Do I give myself the love that I offer others? When we complained about a friend or partner we were forced to look at why we chose to allow it or why we made excuses for them. What was it that we really needed to change about ourselves? I recently went to a relationship seminar and 1 point was drilled into our heads over and over, "you can not love another, more then you love yourself." So if you want the love you dream about, you need to start with you.

With that it's time for your challenge, this week's is Daily Affirmations! I want you to take a piece of paper and write something nice that you will see everyday (preferably first thing in the morning). Stick it on your computer, write on your mirror (lipstick is my fav), place in your wallet, make a list and read them when you wake up. What is it that you need to hear? Do you tell yourself "I love you", "I am beautiful", "I am thankful to be me", "I'm going to make this a good day and cherish being ME"? Go a step farther and place a few of them all over! There is one semi-related note that I'm going to post on my computer at work that says "Go outside and enjoy the beauty" (I need to get up and take a few min walk every couple of hours because that makes me balanced and happy). In the womens group I mentioned earlier we were told to stand naken in the mirror and read off a list of affirmations once a day for a week, then the next week twice a day. So I'm actually being nice here! (but feel free to do that) This will help you appreciate yourself from the very start of your day. You may see your day change, you may see yourself doing more self loving acts, like the way you eat or desiring to add or enjoy movement that your body will benefit from.

One benefit of working on our external is we can't only make physical changes with out making internal changes. When I eat healthy and excercise I already feel better about myself. I am a person who has to stay on top of my affirmations or I start to act out. I'm realizing more and more that when I get upset with others, or start judging are the times that I'm actually self abusing. This is a life long struggle for me but a manageable one.

Please don't skip this week, it really won't take much time out of your day and could bring rewards beyond measure. Trust me, there is an abundance of love inside of you just waiting to enjoyed.

"A year from now you may wish you had started today"

Week 1 or week 2.. which is it for you? (challenge)

This Wed is the start of September! Can you believe we are already about to enter the 4th qtr of 2010? Wasn't it just New Years a little while ago? Didn't I just make New Years resolutions to get healthy and lose some weight? 9 months have gone by and I could have surpassed my goals if I would have just done the work. sigh.... Maybe I start this month and by New Years my resolution can be simple... keep up the good work!

Does any of that sound familiar to you? Does time just pass you by and you sit with regret that you didn't just commit and stick with it cause you would have been done by now? Well now is the time to stop that cycle.... Last week we did a challenge on commitment, this week I want to do a challenge around goals.

Along with the goal of blogging and sending in your monthly weigh in, lets make someGOALS. Each person will have goals specific to them and their own challenges. Lets set out to make a weekly goal and a monthly goal. Maybe it's a goal you've been dreading but you know it's the one thing that is really limiting your success. Lets dig deep, tear down our own mental road blocks and put down that goal that you keep putting off and start the month off right. We can't forget last weeks challenge, make your commitment, make your goals and the success will follow!

Just a quick reminder of the changes to the group... We will not do a Wed blog (except this week the 1st happens to be a Wed) but we will do a monthly weigh in and weekly on the days you please. You may miss a week and thats ok, but try to take 5-10mins a week to shoot out a quick blog. It will help you and help support your fellow women. We all love to hear from you! September is your month!

Challenge - Committment

This week is about commitment. Lets sit down with ourself this week and ponder these questions: Do you keep your promises to other people easier then to yourself? Do you struggle making changes but desperately want them? Have you set a commitment to meet your goals yet? “Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” Peter F. Drucker quotes Last week I posted a story from a girl who has lost over 80lbs. If you haven't read it, please scroll down and come back to this post. She made a lot of big and small commitments along the way to get to her goal. She made weekly commitments, daily commitments and 1 big commitment to herself to honor her commitments to get to her goal weight. I can honestly say the best thing you can do is to first make a commitment to give yourself what you want and what you deserve. Is your goal to lose a lot of weight or just a couple lbs this week? If those are your goals have you made a commitment to honor them? “Better a broken promise than none at all.” Mark Twain quotes I put this quote in so that you can also have compassion for yourself if you struggle with your commitment along this journey. We often beat ourselves up and give up if we make a mistake,re-make your promise to yourself and be nice to yourself. In talking with my aunt she helped me realize that in our weekly emails we had such a hard time giving ourselves compliments but are expecting ourselves to lose this weight and change the way we cope, which for many is through food. Our weight, our commitments, all go deeper then what is on the outside, we have a lot of work to do on the inside to help us be happy with the outside. So be compassionate to yourself, make commitments this week that you can keep, make commitments to yourself that work on your body AND your spirit! Doing work to make you happy on the inside will give you the strength to hold to your commitments. Lets also all commit to BLOGGING this week. :) Please follow our two newest additions: Cathy: http://catsmauibound.blogspot.com/ Alison: http://goodthingsfromalisoncatt.blogspot.com/ Welcome ladies!

Welcome Back Ladies of Healthy Living!

We started this group to support each other, learn, share goals and hold ourselves accountable for the choices we make towards healthy living. We started with an email group and decided we enjoy blogging and commenting better so here we go!

Each week we should trade the lead seat in sharing something to help educate us in weight loss, healthy living and also a challenge us for the week. We should each have individual goals in our weekly posts too (leader should create two I would imagine or combine then). I can take the first couple weeks to get this going unless somebody has something they want us to work towards.

THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE:

This week I want us all to be conscious. Conscious of what you put in your mouth, conscious of when and how you are eating (are you watching TV, are you in a rush, are you driving, are you snacking cause your bored?) conscious of how much water you drink, and most importantly be conscious of your serving size! (ok... I had to throw in a real challenge right?!?!) Is that really a 1/2 cup of mashed potatoes, or 1 cup of cereal? Start small, wait a few minutes and eat more if you NEED it. Plan to carry an apple with you if you get hungry. We eat more then we need, so train your body to need less... The beginning is the hardest but what better day to start then today?

Next weeks challenge is going to be about commitment. I know most of you are traveling or have company so your commitment is likely not at it's strongest. Though I would have liked to start out with a commitment challenge to get us off to a good start but I think being conscious is also a good way to go.

Whether you are going out to eat, cooking for friends, on the run, stressed out... be conscious of your choices. See yourself as an outsider, where can you improve? You are worth it!

I have created a couple online pages of recipes I love. Enjoy!

Healthy Recipes

Seafood Recipes (I have yet to try but am excited for the adventure)

I will post about my week tomorrow and look forward to hearing about yours!

Stealing a post to share... it really hit me... does it hit you?

I stole this from somebody else's blog because I loved it! I think each person can relate in some way and I will ask that before next weeks challenge you read this.... Be! Do! Have!!

Thanks Kari for sharing this great piece of writing:

http://thinformyboys.blogspot.com/2010/05/la-di-da.html

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. -Jim Ryun


Weight loss is a challenge. Really, I am the first to admit that it's NOT easy. I reflect on my own "weight loss journey" as fighting for my life.

At 28 years old I found myself tipping the scales at just over 200 lbs on my 5'2" body. Was I pleased? Absolutely not!! Did I know what the hell I was going to do about it? Of course not. I just wanted to be that thin person I knew must be in there somewhere.

I had spent my entire adult life being overweight. I gained my weight during my 4 pregnancies and never lost anything after my kiddos were born. I also had spent my entire adult life in a Have-Be-Do cycle. If I HAD the time/money/energy/gym membership/personal trainer/personal chef [insert your excuse here] etc etc etc.... I would BE able to do what it takes to lose weight and I would finally DO it!! It wasn't until I reversed the cycle that I found my success. I resulted to BE that thin person... to eat like a thin person, exercise like a thin person, value myself as a thin person and THEN... I found success. BE, DO, HAVE! So much better! :)

Anyway.. back to motivation and habit. Motivation... we all have it at some point. Maybe it's what brought you to this site. We all thrive on motivation. We cling on and pray it sticks around a while. Motivation truly is what gets us started OVER and OVER again. But I think we give more credit to motivation then necessary.

Weight loss is fairly simple. Regardless of what approach you take it's all about replacing bad habits with good ones. Habits are what control our lives. If you are in the habit of doing the dishes every evening after dinner, 9 times out of 10 you are going to do just that. Occasionally you will feel "unmotivated" and let them sit for an hour or two.. maybe even over night but bottom line... those dishes will wait and eventually you will have to face them! :)

So here you are at the beginning/middle/end of a journey to create new habits and YOU are the only person standing in your way. Maybe you are TERRIFIED. Maybe you are excited. Maybe you have no idea what the hell you are going to do! ;) Change your focus. This journey is NOT about a number on a scale. This journey is about gaining health. This journey is about developing NEW habits that will give you success. This moment defines where you go from here. Be it!! Do it!! and Have success!